In the latest piece in our Modern Motherhood series, we speak with Liv Purdon, mum to Penelope. From navigating an unexpected feeding journey to learning to trust herself fully, Liv opens up about what helped her find clarity, confidence, and calm in those early months.
You’ve been really open about your feeding journey. Can you tell us a little about what that looked like in the early days with Penelope?
I thought things were going great in the hospital, but as soon as we got home Penelope just wouldn’t settle. I had no idea what was going on and it was incredibly stressful. On day four I tried a formula top-up and she finally slept. I felt such relief.
Soon after, I realised that every time I breastfed I felt sad and depressed, and eventually discovered it was DMER. I tried to push through for a few more weeks, but by the time Penelope was five weeks old I decided to stop. I had a brief moment of guilt, but it disappeared quickly when I reminded myself that a happy mum is the priority.
Penelope thrived on full formula. She slept better, was more settled, and honestly our whole world became calmer. I’m proud I put my mental health first.
What were some of the biggest emotions or thoughts you navigated during breastfeeding?
I remember feeling like I’d failed a bit, especially after having a c-section. It felt like nothing about my experience was “natural,” which isn’t normally how I see things, so that surprised me.
But once I stopped breastfeeding, I felt instantly lighter. My mood lifted, I started eating properly again, I gained energy, and Penelope slept so well. Everything improved. That shift reminded me that taking care of myself was the best thing I could do for both of us.
When feeding didn’t go the way you imagined, where did you find support or reassurance?
Honestly, Google and TikTok. I searched DMER and found so many women describing the same experience. It was comforting to realise it wasn’t just me.
As for combo feeding, I always expected to introduce one bottle at night, but we ended up topping up almost every feed. I don’t know if my milk just wasn’t enough and I guess I’ll never know, but formula truly saved me.
What helped you feel confident in the choices you made, even when it felt hard?
My midwife was incredible, and my friends reminded me that my mental health mattered more than anything. There’s no point struggling just for the sake of breastfeeding if you’re sad and exhausted. They were right, and having their support made all the difference. In terms of confidence in other choices, it is just my personality. I am very open to advice from people I trust but I really trust myself at the end of the day, and I am going to be honest, every decision I made was right.
If you could go back and reassure yourself in those early weeks, what would you say?
I’d tell myself to understand the baby blues better, they’re real. I’d remind myself that I don’t have to do everything, and that the choices I was making were the right ones for us.
What surprised you most about becoming a mum?
The joy. I loved my life before, but the happiness and pure excitement I feel every day now is something else. One smile or laugh from Penelope can lift my entire day. And how naturally motherhood came to me, I never expected that.
Is there something about Penelope that has made you laugh or feel proud lately?
She’s so good at communicating her needs. I taught her sign language and I’m so proud of her. She signs “help,” “more,” “all done,” “bottle,” “food,” “water” all day long. Next I’m teaching her “hurt” or “ouch.”
How would you describe the stage she’s in right now?
Thriving. She’s loving daycare, especially the sand and water play. She spends time with her grandma, and then we get our family days. It feels balanced and happy. I honestly can’t complain.
How has motherhood changed the way you show up in life, work or relationships?
I prioritise better. Everything feels clearer. Things I used to overthink don’t bother me anymore. I often catch myself saying, “Who cares?” and truly, I don’t.
What’s something you’ve let go of since becoming a mum?
My strict standards around food and exercise. I don’t stress about missing workouts or having takeaways. I still love being active and eating well because it makes me feel good, but the pressure is gone.
What’s something you’re holding onto more tightly now?
Time at home with Kyle and Penelope. I’ve always been a homebody, but even more so now. A weekend with no plans is my favourite thing.
What conversations or communities make you feel most seen in motherhood?
My friends with babies. We talk every day! The good, the hard, all of it. It’s grounding and makes me feel supported.
What’s one thing you wish more mothers heard about feeding, pressure or expectations?
That it’s completely normal for breastfeeding not to work. And it’s 2025, we have amazing alternatives that keep babies happy and healthy. Research shows maternal wellbeing is paramount, and sometimes that means stopping breastfeeding. And that’s okay.
